Have you ever been searching for something but did not know where to look for it? That seems to be my story, one of always searching for something. I had to search for significance (personally), for my biological family (I had been adopted when I was two years old), and now I was searching for my voice. I was not sure where to look for my voice, after all I thought I had a voice. Of all the things that could be missing, I did not think it was my voice. Ask anyone who knows me, and they will tell you that I talk…a lot! So imagine the surprise I felt when I asked God for direction and the answer was “Find your voice”. I sat straight up (I was in bed, it was about 1:30 am) and then I cried. (It was a quiet cry, because I did not want my husband to wake up and ask me what was wrong) A cry that had been a long time coming. It had been decades in the making…I knew deep down inside that although I talked a lot, I was not necessarily expressing words that I really wanted to say. Words about the issues that weighed heavily on my heart and spirit. Words that I am sure at one time or another a lot of people think but may not express out loud for fear of how others would perceive them. I realized that I had a hurdle to overcome in this area.

This led to my next thought about my Mom. The Mother that I never had the privilege to know (she died before I searched for and found my biological family), but that I seem to resemble in more ways than just looks. Did she have the chance to express herself without fear of judgment? My guess is that she did not have the opportunity to freely express herself.  And then I had my moment of realization. A “lightbulb” moment. Finding my voice is the gift that I give in memory of her, my Mother. A gift to her memory and so that her life will not have been lived in vain. I will write not only for her but, I will write for other’s who are searching for their voice and may be afraid to tell their story. Maybe telling bits and pieces of my story prompt someone else to begin to express themselves and tell their own story through their talents and personal form of expression.

So, this “lightbulb” moment gave me the idea to start blogging. I am hoping that this journey of finding my voice, as I blog about my life, will invite others to join me. I am hoping to inspire others to step out on faith and pursue their passions, dreams, and callings. Sometimes all we need is inspiration and courage.

Kimberly L.